Iron Mike

I came across this video the other day and i thought it was both extremely funny and extremely sad at the same time. (Like Tyson's career! AYYY-OOOOO) It's globally known that only two type of people collect pigeons, crazy people, and crazy old people, but crazy old black people? And i can't tell if Uncle Frank is genuinely interested in what Tyson has to say or if he's just humoring him so his face doesn't get punched in.


But most importantly this video reminded me of a conversation i had with Jono a few weeks ago

Jono: Dude, i was watching ESPN classics, and Mike Tyson was such a good fighter back in the day.
ME: Yah i know hey? Too bad he's bankrupt.
Jono: Whatya mean?
Me: He had 300 million dollars! Now, nothing.
Jono: Oh yah i guess.
Me: What?
Jono: Well, i could see how you spend that much money.
Me: How on earth could you spend 300 million dollars?!?!
Jono: Well, k, like, what? 200 million dollars on a home? ,at least.
Me: What the...
Jono: So thats like 100 million left right? Whats the most expensive car in the world? Like a million dollars? Then he prolly has like a bunch of those too
Me: ....
Jono: ....
Me: Thank god you're pretty.

Don't You Hate It When.....

Don't you hate it when your're burning a CD and you put the WRONG Pink song on it.

Like, don't get me wrong "There you go" is a good track but i was REALLY looking forward to hearing "Most girls"

And so the next morning you hop in the car and put the new CD in and prepare to belt out your favorite Pink lyrics when you here this? And it's not that i dont like the song its just that i was looking forward to hearing "Most girls."

Don't you hate that shit?

If Tony Stark were played by Ben Stiller.

Opening Scene

Army Guy: Mr. Stark....do you mind if i take a picture?

Tony Stark: Yah sure, what is that a canon? i heard canon has bad quality or whatever you should definately look into Sony, well i mean like if you want more pixels and reduced red eye so when you get back home you can be like 'WHOA' thats Tony Stark! Jeez is it hot in here?

Army Guy: Uhh, is that a yes or a no?

Tony Stark: What do you think Owen Wilson is doing right now? Screw it im calling him.*








* This post is a result of constant requests to update blog, please do not blame writer.

Game 7, Game 7, Game 7

Me and Yoni Boni (would you capatilze "boni"?) just played game 7 of the 7th series of games 7's in Fifa 06. Thats close to 50 games! And loser has to buy the winner any soccer jersey of his choice. AKA yaaaaaaaaas by best buy! (i won!). So if anyone has any suggestions, leave a comment!

Quote of the day

I think I’m going to do a thing where i post my favorite quotes of the day...or, week or whatever, gawd get off my back.

The family went out to eat and on the way home my Dad was super frustrated b/c he doesn't know how to check for flights on the internet. Or use the internet at all.
So as we're walking in the house he calls my name and i turn around to here him say

"I'm gonna learn that computer"

You imagine it yet? Kk now imagine it again with a hint of an Indian accent and a piece of a fry hanging from his beard.

Study...plete?

Seriously, trying to study...you know, better myself and develop a career. But this track is all up in my dome right now.



Jeez will the 'clench your fist and look down' move ever get old?

China?

My friend is in the China/Hong Kong area for the summer, the same area that was hit by an earthquake, filled with protests, and is holding the 2008 summer Olympics. So when I asked her what the most interesting thing she’s noticed since her arrival two months ago she said:

"The theatres cover their popcorn in caramel instead of salt here"

That statement totally floored me. I've never visited China but its totally ruined my perception of flying robots and epic kung-fu battles on every street corner.

Some people think I’m prejudiced...it's because they're stupid.

"Das Ma Penis"

Its like Rodney King but...opposite?



"Whats this right here?"
"Das ma penis"
"Thats your penis alriiiiiight"

Epic.

Dad

A little while ago a few of my buddies came over. While in my basement my Dad came downstairs to say hi and was eating a typical “there’s nothing to eat so I’m going to put two things I like, together and cram is down my throat” type of meal. Essentially it was a slice of cheese in between hamburger buns….that’s right, processed cheese between two dry hamburger buns.

I love calling my Dad out when it comes to him eating stuff that’s unhealthy, so I did, and here’s how it went.

“What is that?”
“What?”
“Is…that just cheese in between a bun?”
“So”
“Do you know how bad that is for you?”
“You shut up.”

And it got me thinking to how much I’m looking forward to reaching that age where I can win any argument by saying “you shutup.”

“Sir you can’t return this VCR, its 11 years old”
“You shut up”
“Debit or cash?”

Sometimes when my dad gets lippy and is shirtless (my dad wearing a shirt is equivalent to women wearing stilettos…just for looks baby) I’ll take a 4Ltr of milk out of the fridge and press it on his back when he’s not looking.