Dad

A little while ago a few of my buddies came over. While in my basement my Dad came downstairs to say hi and was eating a typical “there’s nothing to eat so I’m going to put two things I like, together and cram is down my throat” type of meal. Essentially it was a slice of cheese in between hamburger buns….that’s right, processed cheese between two dry hamburger buns.

I love calling my Dad out when it comes to him eating stuff that’s unhealthy, so I did, and here’s how it went.

“What is that?”
“What?”
“Is…that just cheese in between a bun?”
“So”
“Do you know how bad that is for you?”
“You shut up.”

And it got me thinking to how much I’m looking forward to reaching that age where I can win any argument by saying “you shutup.”

“Sir you can’t return this VCR, its 11 years old”
“You shut up”
“Debit or cash?”

Sometimes when my dad gets lippy and is shirtless (my dad wearing a shirt is equivalent to women wearing stilettos…just for looks baby) I’ll take a 4Ltr of milk out of the fridge and press it on his back when he’s not looking.