Over the past few years I've had extensive experience drinking that wheat barley substance we like to call beer. In addition to the liquid gold I have also been know to throw down a few sugar filled, calorie infested spirits. As most of us know nights like this tend to be great, or extremely bad, but the best part is, we're never able to differentiate the two.
However, It is the day after, the bright, bright sun, the drum that seems to be pounding in your skull, the smell of chicken nuggets and fabric softener, The days we live for. It is this day where we meet up with the friends and share the experience we had the night before. It is this day I recently notice a change in story telling. A Change in adjectives, where words such as:
Wasted
Hammered
Plastered
Were no longer the norm, and were replaced with more obscure and often questionable:
Zippered
Sauced
Ham Showed.
This brought me to thinking we can essentially put any word we like and use it as an adjective for how keyboarded we got the night before. For example
"Dude...oh my god, I was so beluga whaled last night it wasn't even funny"
"Reallly dawg? I was so door knobbed I couldn't even walk!"
"You guys think you were drunk? Jenny was so CHEESBURGERED last night she thought my crotch was her toothbrush!"
*Collective high fives followed by 3 sets of push ups and a protein shake*
With this in mind I have decided to start a new trend. I have decided to replace the ingenious adjectives seen above, with athlete names.
"Oh jeez bro you were pretty Ocho Cinco'd last night"
"Ugh, did you see Dave? He was Zarley Zalapskied like nobody's business"
or..
"Man oh man was I Phanufed last night!"
"Double Dion?!?"
"You got it brotha!"
* Chest bump*
All in all lets remember to be creative, its funner if the athlete or celebrity's first and last name start with the same letter.
Steve Staios
Peter Pan
or my favorite. Mr. Zalapski
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